::_// Poem For My Dearest //_::

well, this is picture of my cat when he was sleeping with his "girl friend"
i took this picture last evening

so cute, isnt it?kekekeke

fyi: may be i'll not online for 2weeks(less or more). i will have my holiday to celebrate "idul fitri"
so guys, i'll be missing you all ^^ see ya
HAPPY LEBARAN FOR WHOEVER WHO CELEBRATE ^^ im sorry for made so many mistake,hehe

____________________+ R.I.P +___________________
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ONYET^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
there are times when words just seem so small
nothing can replace the loss of a loved one, like you
with my deepest heart, in hope of eternal life
which God that cannot lie promised before the word began (titus 1:2)
My thoughts n my prayers are with you...
I love you, onyet

if i were the most beautiful princess who was born in the same day with "her", would u love me, my ugliest goat? :D

yeah, the answer is "No" although i was the most beautiful princess n actually im not that princess, so i just waste my time to hoping you would love me n now im pretend that im ok :) hehe

hey, for whoever you are who read this post, if you or your friend is a film director, i promote myself to be ur actress,hahahaha
i can be all thing that film need, because my real life is full of acting*LOL

this is the most painful INJURY!!!

:) hello guys
well, yesterday my cat, pricil has born 7 children :)
here is the picture:


:( but guys, one of them was die. doctor said that normally my cat will give birth just for 6 kitten, but she give birth to 7 kitten. n one of them was die :'(

that's the picture when pricil lick her unlucky kitten.
:( dia tau itu mati,tp dia tetep jilatin kucing itu, bahkan digoyang-goyangin trus. jujur iba liatnya, gue smpe hampir nangis pas ngubur krn pricil gkmau lepasin anaknya(walaupun itu mati)

Ya Tuhanku, kudekatkan hati ini padaMu. Malam ini.
Ya Tuhanku, kini tanganMulah yg masih hangat mendekapku, saat aku butuh dekapnya dan aku tahu dia tak akan pernah mendekapku. TanganMu-lah yang erat menggenggam tanganku saat aku tak tahu apa aku masih sanggup berdiri ataukah aku akan terjatuh lebih dalam lagi. TanganMu lah yang setia menuntunku hingga aku mampu berdiri dan berlari lagi. Dan aku tahu tangannya hanya menggenggamku dan kemudian melepasku saat aku mulai berdiri perlahan.
Ya Tuhanku, aku tahu hanya padaMu aku kini kembali mengisahkan semua sakit dan bebanku.
Tuhan,tolong sembuhkan...

Tak ada yg menciptakan luka ini,kecuali diriku sendiri…Aku menangis, aku marah. Kau tahu aku sedih, aku kecewa, aku sudah sangat terluka. Bukan “karenanya” atau karena mreka yg baik hati. Rasa itu telah ku ciptakan sendiri ketika aku mulai berharap dia akan terus bersamaku, menuntunku, berlari bersamaku, menangis bersamaku, sakit bersamaku, meskipun kami tak akan saling memiliki…

Ya Tuhanku,sembuhkan luka dlm hati ini...
Atas dasar cintaku,aku hanya ingin “dia” bahagia...

Sungguh.. hanya ingin dia bahagia...


Dalam segala perkara
Tuhan punya rencana
Yang lebih besar dari semua yg terpikirkan
Apapun yg Kau perbuat
Tak ada maksud jahat
Sebab itu kulakukan semua denganMu Tuhan
Ku tak akan menyerah pd apapun juga sebelum kucoba semua yg kubisa
Tetapi ku berserah kpd kehendakMu
Hatiku percaya Tuhan punya rencana
Song by: Jonathan Prawira-Tak Akan Menyerah

:'( mr. goat, where r you?i really need you.
my lovely cat is sick, i have to pick up the other cat. u promise that u will accompany me, right? :( pls come back if you read this. i really worries of you.
im sick now

Pls God, I really beg you for all my tears. Don’t broke this. It’s the last thing for make my own smile. God you have arranged my life, you have arranged all thing to came for my future, but God, pls, I wish that I can make my own happiness for ever after. I know that he might never be mine, so pls let me adore him for make my own happiness. Im weak, you knew that. Pls don’t make me crazier anymore…

^^ hello, sekarang it’s time to speak in English lagi ya, so we have to end speak in bahasa soalnya my friend in foreign told me that they don’t understand with google translate when they try to catch what I mean in the older post,kekeke*it’s mean that if I wanna cheating u, I have to speak in bahasa,wkwkkwk*kidding

Yesterday, stella tagged me in a note for Mr.A*he is a boy whom stella adore at JHS,hahaha. When I told Masaki*emmmmmh, what call for you?brother?but you always cheating me ==” best friend? But you are like my brother ==” ah, whatever,kekekeke. Well, when I told him about stella’s note(iya tau gue rumpi bgt cyint,wkkwwk)he gave me some challenge to make letter for Mr.Goat. aaaaaa, now, check this out.
p.s: hey masaki, I’ve wrote in my post ya, so you have to do the same with miss nananana,haha

Dear Mr.Goat
how are you?are fine?i hope the answer is yes. Well mr.goat, if you ask me about my condition, im not ok at all. I really have headache because I often(too often)thinking of you ^^ mr.goat, did my prediction for your future come true at all?hummm, im anxious, hehe.
==” ah, bla bla bla, im confused. I cant write lovely dopey letter. The point are: I have to say that I’d waiting for you as far as I can, hmmm, I thought you are looking for the right princess. But if you look at me?ah, im not perfect, im fat, my hair doesn’t always stay in a place, I spill a lot of things, im pretty clumsy , my skin is not too fair, my face full of acnes, etc, im mess up!!! I wont born like this, but I LOVE TO BE IMPERFECT.hehe
You might be the ugliest Goat, but I never give my damn care about that, I just love you just the way you are(we know that I neveeeeeeeer see you, n I can love you more than anything that I see everyday)
Paris Hilton said: I don’t care what people thinks of me. the people I care about know the real me n that’s all that matter.*cooooooooooooool
Mr.goat, I love you since that day, 2years later until now n all of my feeling will be end when I cant wake up tomorrow. Hey Mr.Goat, if tomorrow never come for me, will you know how much I love you? :/ you will regret to lose me loh,hahahaha. So Mr.Goat, I love you everyday more than my heart can love something ^^ I know your answer is “no” errrrrrr. But im still want waiting for you ^^ I know that I cant fight the fate, I know that I cant change your mind, but I just want you to know that here’s a girl that adore you, a girl who always pray the best luck for you every night, a girl who always waste her tears every night to crying for you, a girl who always care about all of yours(although you never care about the girl), a girl who love you more than anyone can love you, a girl who want to give her everything for you, a girl who sit with lil smile while waiting for you come to her arms n tells her all about your pain, a girl who always happier when you happy n always sadder if you are sad, a girl who always … I dunno, this is kind of suck girl who fuckin in love with you, Mr.Goat.

So mr.Goat, see ya. That gurl waiting for your invitation date ^^

Well guys, sebenernya dah dari kmrn pgn buat post ini, but gue harus melakukan berbagai macam ritual terlebih dahulu sebelum melakukan post ini*cieeeeeee

Gk gk, kmrn2 pesantren 2 hari. Apa yg terjadi di pesantren?garing,krn sahabat gue(non) ngga bareng gue, jadi ya hari gue ngga seidiot biasanya,haha.

Fyi: seari sblm pesantren ==” kmrn hari pertama bikin film, muka gue diilangin Sam(in). DASAR COWOK AUTIS!!!gila aja, kita berdua dah kea pasangan(laknat)mondar mandir cari bethadine ma perban dan kita tu mpe kea anak ilang berdua dengan keautisan si Sam(in) masuk ke rumah2 orang,errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Pulang dari lokasi syuting sms nyokap(ceritanya menunaikan kewajiban jmpt adek gue)gni:
Bu, anggie dah pulang. Ini jemput adek jam brapa?
Jeng jeng, reply si nyokap:
Nanti, masih lama
Sms gue selanjutnya:
Ok
Nyokap sms lagi:
Mbak, km msh lma nggak syutingnya?jemput adek ya?
Reply gue:
loh?gmn ini?
Without say anything nyokap dah ngga reply, dah gitu langsung aja gue otw ke sekolah adek gue. Sampe sana ketemu nyokap. Bengong deh gue.
Gue: bu, tadi katanya aku yg jemput?
Nyokap: loh?gmn to?
Gue: (explain about text ago)
Nyokap: lha wong ibu tadi mandi, ngga sms kmu
Gue: *dongo
TERUS ITU SIAPA???SEDANGKAN DIRUMAH GUE NGGA ADA ORANG!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHT!!!

Nyampe rumah buka fb bentar, di tag stella tentang later Mr.A, yaaaaah, beberapa paragraph nyebut gue sbg miss playgirl akud ==” ahelah, kpn saya gonta ganti pasangan?daridulu cinta matinya kan Cuma sama rand**a, hadeh. Konfirmasi: teman2 lelaki saya banyak, yang deketin saya banyak juga, tapi buat bergonta ganti pacar, itu bukan kebiasaan saya, saya lebih memilih mengakhiri suatu hubungan ketika saya sudah tidak sanggup bertahan daripada selingkuh. Sekian ^^*gue berasa di inpotemen,wkwkwk

Well, sekarang gue certain pesantren gue. Jadi dari awal pesantren itu gue smsn ma Mr.Goat, tp pasti dia ngga bls smpe gue dikacangin mpe besoknya lagi :’( tp gpp lah, yg pntg bs smsn,hahaha.

Jadi, di hari pertama pesantren hati gue entah ada apa gerangan, gue CUKUP tersentuh dg “kasih sayang seorang bapak”. Sedikit cerita, I’ve father who always force me to do anything what he wants, he always wants me to be THE BEST in every field. We are all know that it’s a hard thing apalagi sambil dipaksa ==” siapa yg suka coba, if I failed to do that he will angry to me n he will say that im bad. Oh GOSH!!!kadang ngga tahan, krn apa yg gue mau NGGA PERNAH sejalan ma beliau. Jadi, kmrn hari pertama pulang bawa motor kea biasa, lewat jalan yg sama kea biasa, pake helm yg sama kea biasa, pokoknya semua kea biasa. Jeng jeng, ada mokmen deket sekolah ternyta. Mau kabur tapi ya gmn, yasutralah boo*lho?

Seperti biasa pula, STNK ma Kartu pelajar ditahan*iya gue blm cukup umur. Kalo biasanya bapak ambil STNK ma Kartu pelajar ngga pake lama, ada yg beda disini krn polisi yg nahan STNK ma Kartu pelajar anak baru ternyta(polisi baru a.k.a polbar). Here we go:
Polbar: pak, mbok anaknya dibuatkan SIM
Bpk: mas’nya kalo bisa buatin ya mbok dibuatin, tak bayar berapa pun. Orang masih 16 tahun gt kok
Polbar: ya suruh aja naek sepeda ontel
Bpk: tolong dipraktekin ya mas, km itu anak baru sudah menggurui saya. Saya itu di polantas sudah 28tahun, saya tahu apa yg saya lakukan. Anak kmrn sore saja pecicilan, ngga sopan km. Saya ngga mau anak saya naik sepeda dari rumah ke sekolah. Mas’nya missal punya anak, apa anak sampean akan disuruh naik sepeda dari rumah ke sekolah yg jaraknya 7km?poklek sikile!!!(means: broke your foot)
Polbar: *diam tanpa kata(cie massiver)haha

Jleb jleb, denger cerita begitu dari nyokap, rasanya…aduh ngga ngerti deh ah. I know that he is fierce, but he love me more than my love to him :'( I feel so guilty sometimes if I review what I’ve done to him. I often make him disappointed when I couldn’t do what he want :’( aaaaa, oh God!!! Ya emg si, si polbar itu ngga sepenuhnya salah nahan gue ==” tapi toh dia nantang singa bgtu. Pangkatnya si polbar ini jauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh dibawah bokap. *pangkat bokap gue?rahasia.hahaha. Nah kebetulan kanitnya si polbar bawahannya bokap*pokoknya gtulah, bingung gue jelasinnya. Coba kanitnya denger, tau deh tu gmn nasibnya. Well, the point is I thank to God for made me born in this family :)) sometimes it’s damn bad, but often it’s fuckin good at all.haha

Hari kedua pesantren:
Nah, ada yg lucu ini. Jadi ketemu temen lama(temen TK), dia kelasnya sebelahan ma gue. Dia masa tau2 nanya bgini:
Gue: *keluar masjid(cie masjid)
Dia: hoi*gaya sok cool dg barang2 distro
Gue: oi, darimana?
Dia: kelas, mau pulang. Enak ngga pesantrennya?
Gue: ngga, aku pengen cpt2 pulang kerumah maen kucing*sambil duduk
Dia: *ikutan duduk. Eh aku nanya deh, kalo missal puasa kentut itu dosa ngga ya?bingung aku(fyi: kita blak2an krn sahabatan, ortu kita bahkan shbtn)
Gue: *dongo.(fyi: asli ngga ngeh sma skali gue, orang msuk islam aja baru bgni). Ngga boleh,tau*sok tau
Dia: wah, batal berarti ya?
Gue: iya, apalagi kalo kentut sambil makan tempe(my favorite food),batal itu*garrrrrring
Dia: *mukanya langsung ditekuk. Seriuuuuuuus nggiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Gue: pokoknya kalo kentut jgn smbil minum es cendol(minuman favorit dia), nanti batal
Dia: hassss, bilang aja km ngga tau
Gue: *ngakak
Wkwkwkwk, so if you guys in Arab there, if you know whether flatus can be cancelled our fasting or not, you can text me on my email at: enjiiii@yahoo.com kekekeke
^^ the longest post, right?so enough for today ya. I’ve post 2news,hehe

8-8-2011
:D today I’ll speak in bahasa ya?so for you outside there, pls open the dictionary ^^,kekekeke

Sorenya: jleeeeeeeeeb jlebb, tertohok*alah.pokoknya intinya galau luar biasa. Rada deg2n krn gue ngga tau apa nazar itu boleh dibocorin ato ngga(if you r an uztad pls contact me), tp yaudahlah dah bocor ini. Yaaaaaah, sneng si waktu dia blg “mau ikut” gue kira wish gue bakal come true. U kno what?ternyta ngasal ngomong ==” errrr
p.s: he’s the person I always telling about when I looking for,kekeke

slesai magrib: new born for my puppy ^^ ini ni penampakannya


it’s boy at all, huah, bingung juga mau namainnya.
Well, here we go…
For that white one: puteh (means have white fur)
For that red tabby one: pingko (rada ping itu cuy, ngga lucu gue namain pingki,haha)
For that brown one: brownie (brown fur, right?)
Nah for that black one: prawo (nananna’s name,wkwkwk)
The last: woro(nanana’s name)hahaha
^^ kekeke, hope they will be gud boy like their father, Robert

oya, today kita(XIS2) mulai bikin film ^^ Wish us luck,ahhaa

Somebody's Her lyrics

You, do you remember her?
Like she remember you?
Do you spend your life
Going back in your mind to that time?

Cause she, she walk the streets alone
she hate being on her own
And everyone can see that she really fell
And she's going through hell
Thinking about you with somebody else

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody cant breathe, without you it's lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
That somebody's her, that somebody's her

How, how did we go wrong?
It was so good and now it's gone
And she pray at night that our paths soon will cross
And what we hide isn't lost
Cause you're always right here in her thoughts

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody cant breathe, without you it's lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
That somebody's her

You will always be in her life even if she's not in your life
Cause you're in her memory

You, will you remember her?
And before you set her free, oh, listen please

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can?t breathe, without you it?s lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
Somebody's me, that somebody's her
That somebody's her, that somebody's her, oh, yeah


^^ thx for deohan arustama for made this video together with me, check this out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9OCET0smIk

I’ve passed 2nd day of august…it’s gonna be hell year for 2nd day in august. How can I said like that? I’ve prepared all thing to him, but It was wasted  oh my, what the hell happened!!!!

The failed planning in 2nd august:
1. Wake him up at 12AM by sms to disturb him(bcs I knew that he would never accept my telephone) without saying “happy birthday”:D
2. Make a blackforest cake for him(I knew he loves chocolate n I’ve got course for make this cake last year in Bogasari). After that make some chocolate n pack them in a pink love box with red ribbon
3. When the sun is rising, send him a text to make a date in Amplaz
4. Waiting for his answer n sleeping for a while
5. If he answer my text n say yes, take a bath n give the best “makeup” for my date with him. But if he say no…better if I eat my cake alone in my bedroom n hearing some songs from children of bodom,the side project, Monkey to millionaire, scared of bums, and paramore. N give my chocolate to my sister n her friends.
6. When he answer yes: take the cake n the chocolate in Lala(restaurant near Amplaz) n going tp Amplaz without gift, cake, or something like that.
7. When he answer yes: meet him n watching some movie, after that get lunch in KFC or Solaria, and then playing at Timezone, after that walking around to talk about something for a while
8. When he answer yes: invite him to Lala n asked my friend to sing a song(not birthday song)with accapella
9. When he answer yes: asked him to make a wish before blow the candle, eat the cake together.
10. When he answer yes: give him some chocolate in the end n give him that “gift”hahha
11. At 11:99PM say “Happy Birthday” n be the last person,kekekeke

==” but I know this is fasting month, so we move to plain B,kekkee. Here we go:
1. Disturb him at 12AM by Misscall without saying “happy birthday”:D
2. Make a blackforest cake for him(I knew he loves chocolate n I’ve got course for make this cake last year in Bogasari). After that make some chocolate n pack them in a pink love box with red ribbon
3. When “sahur”, wake him up, sahur, and then sleep for a while
4. When he wake up at 9 or 10 Am, send him a text for see the sunset n “ngabuburit” at Kuwaru Beach(I dunno where is it, but pll says it’s near paragtritis n the view is beautiful)
5. If he say yes: we meet at 3Am at Janti n going there with one motorcycle or car(one of us have to take our motorcycle or car in my father office)
6. If he say yes: when we arrived there, my friends will sing an accapella song(not birthday song)
7. We both eat the cake together n see the sunset
8. In the end I will say to him that I love him n I wouldn’t asked the answer anymore n I’ll ask him my chocolate
9. Go home at “magrib”, when arrived at Janti asked that “gift”
10. At 11:99PM say “Happy Birthday” n be the last person,kekekeke
==” yeah, plan B I try to be romantic girl,wkwkwkwk

:D but I know both of above my plains are failed n im not prefer for plain C or another plain if he say “No” or “I’m sorry I cant, I have to go to Bandung for “buka bersama” with my old friends there”, yeaaaaaah, it was gonna be wasted,kekekke. Nope lah, I’ve tried my best, whereas I know it … wased … hmmmm.

Now, if he’s reading this post maybe he will be angry or leave me over again, but I don’t care. He maybe will say “you are so selfish because you said like that”. I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!!!
So before he say that im selfish I will say first, “ hey boy, aren’t you more selfish than me? you just see everything with your view n never see in me, you make me realize that you are everything for me n when im fly up, you make me down with leave me without something which can make me contact you. You never see in me, you never see how pretty me is without your caress n I think you don’t care of all I was feel when you weren’t with me. you are so selfish, aren’t you?so, before you say that im so selfiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish, look at the mirror n see yourself :)”*am I so suck?kekeke
The first of august stella(my BFF) said: kamu tu ngapain ngurusin orang kea gitu?udah jelas2 dia ngga peduli kamu, masih aja kamu berusaha buat orang kea gitu. Kea banalu aja lama2, nggondeli terus*forward some od her text on my phone
My feeling?jleb jleb…like a knife*the song of secondhand serenade,kekkeke
:) well, enough of my post today. Thx for reading